I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
