I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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