I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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