he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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