Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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