that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
