Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think your dad took our porno
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
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