I need help removing her.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
