One girl and one boy is just not enough.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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