Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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