How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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