JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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