why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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