My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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