we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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