Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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