ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
