you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
