I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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