Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
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