needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
