i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
