Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
