This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
