so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
