i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
