stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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