I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
