Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
