i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
