Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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