If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
