i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
