Sober January is a disaster.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize