Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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