One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize