i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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