Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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