It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
