HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
