If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
