I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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