I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Send help, water and tortillas.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
