I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
