I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bring me that man meat
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize