That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She even gives head with a lisp.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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