Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
