At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just tell him i said nine months
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
