i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
