Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
