So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
