shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
