i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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