Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
