I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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