This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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