Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
