ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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