I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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