What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
